MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM STEVES OF GRASS

For some cheerful Christmas nonsense, I invite you to visit Songs of Eretz Poetry Review for a blast from my past http://eretzsongs.blogspot.com/2015/12/a-poem-for-christmas-day-sir-gawain-and.html, a parody of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.  Merry Christmas!

Review of "Your Child's Asthma" by John Hunt, MD

Editor’s Note:  Enjoy a poem by Dr. Hunt in Songs of Eretz Poetry Review published simultaneously with this essay:  http://eretzsongs.blogspot.com/2015/12/poem-of-day-leaves-by-john-hunt-md.html.

My former college classmate, and current friend and fellow physician poet John Hunt, MD, a pediatric pulmonologist and allergist/immunologist, recently published “an asthma doctor’s guide for parents” entitled Your Child’s Asthma.  It is available from Amazon for $16.95 in a large sized paperback, $9.99 for Kindle http://www.amazon.com/Your-Childs-Asthma-Guide-Parents/dp/0985933216.  The book is about 200 pages in length and may easily be read over a weekend.  The ease of the read is greatly facilitated by Dr. Hunt’s non-patronizing, non-condescending, storyteller’s word choices and tone.

Although written for the layman, students of the medical arts would also benefit from Dr. Hunt’s wisdom, if one were willing to set aside his central thesis that asthma is a symptom rather than a disease.  Dr. Hunt admits to being an allopath in his introduction, but then violates the cardinal rule of allopathy--that there is almost always only one cause for all of a patient’s symptoms.  Dr. Hunt insists that the hallmarks of asthma--wheezing, coughing, and shortness of breath--are actually caused by various insults to the respiratory system, such as viral infection and allergies--multiple causes.  Mainstream allopaths believe that asthmatics have something inherently amiss that allows usually harmless exposures to trigger asthmatic symptoms--one cause (an asthmatic is an asthmatic because he has asthma).

It is a shame that Dr. Hunt chose to couch his otherwise excellent advice and easy-to-understand explanations of complex material within his non-mainstream paradigm for asthma, as readers might be mislead into believing that their own, otherwise trusted, mainstream physicians do not know how to treat asthma or are behind the times.  Worse, it is a shame because many otherwise willing readers will pass over his otherwise helpful book.

The Noblest and the Best

I attended Amherst College from 1983 to 1987 and graduated with a BA in biology.  I was so proud to have been accepted there that on June 10, 1983 I wrote a paper for my high school AP American History class on, as the Amherst Fight Song goes, “the man who gave his name to [my] college upon the hill,” British Major General 1st Baron Lord Jeffery Amherst (pictured).  And even though my memories of my time at Amherst are not fond, I was also proud to be a graduate of what was then the top liberal arts college in the country.  I was proud, that is, until I found out that the college leadership is seriously considering replacing its “Lord Jeff” mascot with something more “PC.”  It seems that, as the Fight Song goes, “the story of his loyalty and bravery and fame” does not “abide here among [them] still.”  For shame, Amherst College, for shame!  I believe a little history lesson, courtesy of naïve then eighteen-year-old Steve’s AP American History class paper, is in order.

In 1758, Prime Minister William Pitt put into motion his plan to secure North America for the British Empire.  He promoted then Colonel Jeffery Amherst to Major General (over dozens of superior officers) and put him in command of the British colonial forces with orders to eliminate France from the continent.  The Indians allied themselves with the French and resisted the British.  Thus, the French and Indian War began.

Known as “the cautious commander,” it was said of General Amherst that he would “rather take a year than take a chance.”  He was not dashing or bold.  Rather, he was a brilliant strategist who planned every move and anticipated every enemy action.  He attacked only when he was sure the risk was low.  And, as the Fight Song goes, “he conquered all the enemies that came within his sight,” while doing everything possible to preserve the lives of those under his command, half of whom were colonists.

General Amherst is also known as “the father of biological warfare” for his practice of deliberately spreading small pox among his Indian enemies.  Not sporting?  Perhaps.  But by doing so he saved the lives of his own command and, by winning the war faster as a result, probably spared the lives of the surviving Indians and many Frenchmen. 

By 1760, Amherst had captured all of the strategic French forts in New York and Ohio as well as the city of Montreal with minimal British losses, essentially ending the conflict.  His overwhelming victory was formalized in 1763 by the Treaty of Paris, which granted England all of French North America.  Had that war gone differently, we just might all be singing La Marseillaise.

Thirteen years after the Treaty of Paris, the colonies would declare themselves independent.  King George III turned to his best General, Lord Amherst, and asked him to lead the suppression of the rebellion.  Amherst declined, saying he, “could not bring [himself] to fight against those to whom [he] had been so much obliged.”  Instead, King George was forced to rely upon the less competent (some would say grossly incompetent) Generals Howe and Cornwallis.  It is not unsafe to say that if Amherst had accepted his king’s commission in 1776, we just might all be singing “God Save the Queen.”

I conclude with these words from the Fight Song:

You may talk about your Johnnies and your Elis and the rest,

For they are names that time will never dim. 

But give [me my] only Jeffery, he’s the noblest and the best,

Till the end [I] will stand fast for him.

Oh, Amherst, brave Amherst!

‘Twas a name known to fame in days of yore.

May it ever be glorious

Till the sun shall climb the heavens no more. 

Review of "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck

The Nobel Prize winning author, John Steinbeck (1902 - 1968), published Of Mice and Men in 1937.  It is a novella of about 100 pages and may easily be read in one sitting, as I did today out loud to my wife and my daughter who put off reading it until the night before it was due for her ninth grade English class.  The edition I had in the house belonged to my son who had been forced to read it for an English class some six years prior. When my wife texted our son to let him know that we had all read Of Mice and Men, he replied simply, "I'm sorry."  This Penguin Classics edition has a twenty-five page introduction by Susan Shillinglaw, the first page and a half of which is worth reading, the rest being a repetition ad nauseam of her first few paragraphs.

In her introduction, Shillinglaw reveals that the original title for the novella was apparently "Something That Happened."  It might just as well have been entitled "Life Sucks and Then You Die."  She comments that Steinbeck, prolific and Nobel Prize winning though he might have been, was not and is not universally hailed as a master of his craft.  While some critics saw Steinbeck's use of screenplay-like setting, plot, and character descriptions in Of Mice and Men as "experimental genius," others saw the same as cliche and melodramatic.  Sadly, I fall into the latter category of critics.

The plot of this novella is painfully predictable from start to finish.  I have seen episodes of Scooby Doo and Murder She Wrote that surprised me more.  The use of foreshadowing is excruciatingly heavy handed--similar to when the camera zooms in on an important clue in Murder She Wrote.

The characters, while somewhat pitiable, are not particularly likable, and are the definition of cliche.  We have the two main characters, George and Lennie, set up to be cliche foils of each other in a kind of cliche buddy movie.  Then we have The Wise Cowboy, The Floozy, The Bully, The Nigger, and The Cripple.  The book even ends with The Cowboy and George walking off into the sunset.  Aaaargh!

So, if you have not read Of Mice and Men or seen one of the three major motion pictures into which it was adapted, I say, "Good for you!"  On the other hand, if you have no choice but to read this "classic" for an English class, I will echo my son in saying, "I'm sorry."

My Poem for Paris Appears in Songs of Eretz Poetry Review

It was with great sadness and yet with great resolve that I composed and published "The Beacon," a free verse sonnet for Paris inspired by the horrific events of yesterday's islamic terrorist attack on that beautiful city http://eretzsongs.blogspot.com/2015/11/a-poem-for-paris-by-editor.html.

Join Me in Enjoying the MOOC "An Introduction to C. S. Lewis: Writings and Significance"

Hillsdale College is currently offering a Massive Open Online Course (MOOC) about the writings and significance of C. S. Lewis (pictured).  Sign up for it and enjoy it with me by registering here:  http://online.hillsdale.edu.  The course is free and open to the public.

I recently re-read the Narnia books, all seven of them, but was unaware until now that C. S. Lewis did much more with his writing career than to compose those classics and to encourage his good friend J. R. R. Tolkien to write his tales of Middle Earth.  Those in the know may think me a chump or even an undereducated buffoon that I was, until now, unaware that C. S. Lewis also wrote space science fiction books and is in addition considered to be the foremost Christian apologist of the twentieth century.  I will echo the words of Professor Arnn in his introductory lecture to the course and say to those who may deride me that they should be jealous not derisive, as I am about to discover these gems of C. S. Lewis for the first time.

I'll also freely admit that I had to look up the word "apologist".  An apologist is someone who argues in defense of something controversial.  That caused me to wonder, leaving aside the mythological aspects of Christianity, what could possibly be controversial about the teachings of Jesus?  And that caused me to be most curious to learn the apologetics of C. S. Lewis.  A biography of C. S. Lewis may be found here:  http://www.poetryfoundation.org/bio/c-s-lewis.  Lewis was also a poet, although he was not particularly known as one.  An article about his poetry may be found here:  http://www.lewissociety.org/lookingback.php.

The course reading list includes:
- The Abolition of Man, Lewis' ninety-page argument about the nature of truth and beauty
- Lewis' Space Trilogy:  Out of the Silent Planet, Perelandra, & That Hideous Strength--the fictional companion to The Abolition of Man
- The Chronicles of Narnia--there are seven in all.  I have the advantage of having recently re-read them.  Each could be read in a day or two, but I would suggest re-entering (or if you have never read the Narnia books, then entering--and how I envy you!) that magical land by (re)reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
- The Seven Heavens in the Imagination of C. S. Lewis by Michael Ward, one of the course lecturers.  I was not able to find the book at Barnes & Nobel and am not sure I am going to read it.  I will reserve my decision until after I hear Ward's lecture.

Feel free to Tweet, comment here, email me, &/or post comments on Facebook about the course if you decide to join me.

Review of "Rapid Interpretation of EKG's" by Dale Dubin, MD

It has been over twenty-five years since I first read Dr. Dubin's classic programmed course in the rapid interpretation of EKG's.  I have the 4th edition, which was released in 1989; the first edition was released in 1970.  I imagine that several newer editions have since been released, but also imagine that the information contained in any edition is as stimulating, accurate, and useful today as it might have been when Einthoven first recorded the electrical activity of the heart just over a century ago.

Any medical professional who wants to know how to interpret an EKG, from the curious medical technician to the experienced cardiologist, would benefit from reading this deceptively simplistic book.  The top of each page contains an illustration with a caption; below each illustration is a series of "programmed" questions about the illustration.  By carefully studying the illustrations and answering the questions, "knowledge becomes understanding."

Any lay persons interested in EKG interpretation, such as patients with heart conditions, would also benefit from reading the book--even only the first two chapters.  Dr. Dubin believed that anyone could learn how to read EKG's.  I agree.  It just takes a little heart.

A Scifaiku of Mine Is Published in the Star*Line Fall 2015 Issue

All rights to poetry published in Star*Line, the journal of the Science Fiction Poetry Association, revert to the poets upon publication.  So, in case you did not get to see my little poem in print, here it is:

scares even zombies

the rise of technology

not alive nor dead

Review of "Very Good, Jeeves!" by P. G. Wodehouse

Very Good, Jeeves! by P. G. Wodehouse (1881 - 1975) was first published by Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices, Harmondsworth, Middlesex, England in 1930.  I finally came around to reading it in an omnibus volume entitled Life with Jeeves, which was published by Penguin Books in 1981, one century after the year of Wodehouse's birth.  Included in the omnibus are The Inimitable Jeeves, which I finished reading about a month ago and have not reviewed, and Right Ho, Jeeves, which I am looking forward to reading in the coming weeks.

When I was in the Air Force from 2000 to 2005, I kept the unread omnibus in my "mobag" (ready-to-go-ready-for-anything-prepacked-deployment-bag) as an "emergency" book.  I chose it for that important purpose for several reasons:  I was already familiar with P. G. Wodehouse's characters through the Jeeves and Wooster television series from the early 1990's; the work is divided into a series of connected short stories, perfect for reading in snippets and in less than ideal conditions, such as the jump seat of a C-17; and, most importantly, it is a work of humor and frivolity, which might serve as a morale boost.  I recently dusted off and redeployed the tome for a little pick-me-up pleasure during my mandatory, unpaid, half-hour breaks from work at the Maximum Security Clinic of the Lansing Correctional Facility.

The stories in Very Good, Jeeves! are similar to the stories in The Inimitable Jeeves and, I predict, in Right Ho, Jeeves.  The plot of each story is based upon the following winning formula:

1. A friend or relative of Wooster's needs help for some minor difficulty.
2. The bumbling but good-hearted Wooster gets suckered into helping, being unable to resist a friend in need.
3. Wooster calls upon his manservant, the wise Jeeves for help.
4. Jeeves feigns disinterest owing to some natty part of the young master's wardrobe which, in his opinion, does not suit the master and thereby reflects badly upon the manservant.
5. Wooster puts his feeble mental powers to the task with disastrous results, inevitably winding up "in the soup."
6. Working behind the scenes, Jeeves saves the day.
7. Wooster is so grateful to and impressed by Jeeves' genius that he gives up the offensive wardrobe item as a sort of reward.
8. Jeeves indicates that he had already disposed of the malign accoutrement.

Leaving the silly story plots aside, the language employed by Wodehouse is delightful by itself.  Jeeves speaks in the calm, crisp manner of the British upper class--in a reserved tone, with classic British understatement, scrupulous politeness, and impeccable grammar.  Bertram Wooster speaks in a similar manner, but Wodehouse sprinkles the speech of his hapless hero with a whimsical British slang of sorts, which I find hilariously funny.  So, pip pip!  I'm off to the Drones Club for another fruity binge.  I say, what?

FIVE OF MY POEMS ARE PUBLISHED IN POETRY PACIFIC

“Morale Call” Part of A Wave of Poetry collection.  I was granted a 5-minute call home on the iridium satellite phone.  Free verse, 22 lines.  Published in Poetry Pacific 11/5/15 http://poetrypacific.blogspot.com/2015/11/5-poems-by-steven-wittenberg-gordon.html.

“Sweeping Puddles Away” Part of A Wave of Poetry collection.  A malaria prevention villanelle. Published in Poetry Pacific 11/5/15 http://poetrypacific.blogspot.com/2015/11/5-poems-by-steven-wittenberg-gordon.html.

“Atlanta’s Triolet” A triolet inspired by the myth of Atlanta.  Published in Poetry Pacific 11/5/15 http://poetrypacific.blogspot.com/2015/11/5-poems-by-steven-wittenberg-gordon.html.

“Chick Magnet” A new look at the Judgment of Paris with considerable poetic license.  Free verse, 11 lines.  Published in Poetry Pacific 11/5/15 http://poetrypacific.blogspot.com/2015/11/5-poems-by-steven-wittenberg-gordon.html.

“Europa goddess moon” An experimental science fiction/fantasy poem inspired by the work of Rosmarie Waldrop.  6 lines. Published in Poetry Pacific 11/5/15 http://poetrypacific.blogspot.com/2015/11/5-poems-by-steven-wittenberg-gordon.html.